Who knows?

I’ve come to a conclusion today. I will never know what happened with my nose. It was probably a coincidence that my nose bleeds started after my lumpectomy. And it was easier to blame the horrible surgeon who dismissed all my concerns and her partner in crime the obnoxious anesthesiologist who dropped the clipboard on my chest and didn’t explain anything.

But really, I’m letting go. I’ve convinced myself it’s like when I worked in the car business. And a client would bring in their car for a tune up. The next day it wouldn’t start and they’d say you must have done something. Nope, the battery just picked that day to die.

I spoke with the ENT doc as he pulled out the splints from nose. He made me close my eyes. But here’s what it looks like in case you want to know. I didn’t find watching this video as bad as watching the one on the septoplasty.

It was a very short visit and I didn’t even have to show my health card. The doc remembered my nose. This is what he said about it as I leaned back:

Ah yes. I remember your nose. Your cartilage was very soft. And your septum was twisted all over the place.

So I asked him how it could have happened. He said it may have always been that way from birth. He said maybe if nasal prongs were used, but they don’t use them for lumpectomies. Typically it’s for dental surgery.

And then I remembered what the nice anesthesiologist at my pre-op appointment said about lumpectomies. She said she’d never heard of anyone using nasal prongs or intubating. It’s generally a facemask. And that is what the first surgeon said. Maybe I just didn’t want to believe it because I didn’t trust her and had lost all respect for her by then.

It is possible that the first anesthetic dried out my nose enough that when I started to cry a lot after the surgery my nose was rubbed and blown and dried out until I started chemo. And then chemo and winter dried it out some more. And then I continued on Herceptin, which can also cause nose bleeds. And then I had two more surgeries where I had anesthesia.

So it’s possible. And I’ll let it go. Only my nose knows.